I will always be inadequate. When it comes to the world’s standards of what I am supposed to be, that is. I am too short, too fat, too smart, but still not smart enough at the same time. Even though I have lost roughly 75 pounds over the last couple of years, I am still haunted by the demons that tormented me as a young teenager. I’m too fat and I’m worthless because of it, was what I once believed. My mindset has changed a lot since then, but there are still times, more often than I’d like to admit, that I think that my thighs are still thick and my abs aren’t as flat as I would want them to be.
I have come to terms with the fact that I inherited my mother’s “child-bearing” hips, and that just because I’m not a size zero does not mean that I am worth less than any other girl. In fact, Jesus loves me now as a size 4 and he loved me before at size 16. Do you think that when He was hanging on the cross Jesus was thinking about pant sizes? No. He was thinking about how much he loves us. That we were worth hanging on that cross. He made the ultimate sacrifice for us, he died for us. And he would do it again in a heartbeat.
This is real love–not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins. 1 John 4:10
These ideals that society has shaped are impossible only a select few can fit into. It’s kind of like that old game show that aired a few years back, “Hole in the Wall.” Anyone remember that? A wall rushed towards a contestant who had to jump through outline of the hole exactly, no matter if it was a running stance or someone doing a handstand. If they didn’t fit through the wall they were dumped into water. Trying to conform to society is kind of like that. We must act and think a certain way or we’re up the creek.
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2
The added layer to all this is that life will always be a competition, as well. Keeping Up With The Jones’s is a dangerous “game” to play. One-upmanship can only get you so far, and what do you have in the end? A lot of possessions, sure, but those don’t last. If you win the “game” and beat out your neighbor or your Instagram follower, your victory is short lived. Even the most expensive Lamborghini will rust, Instagram will one day become obsolete, and the tightest body in town will one day grow saggy and old. Nothing on this earth is eternal.
I bet you see where I’m going with this. Worldly possessions and lives expire at one time or another, but God’s love for us is everlasting, no matter what we look like or how much money we have. His love is perfect and unconditional.
For we know that when this earthly tent we live in is taken down (that is, when we die and leave this earthly body), we will have a house in heaven, an eternal body made for us by God himself and not by human hands. 2 Corinthians 5:1
So lately I’ve been thinking, what’s so wrong with being dumped into the creek? Why do we want to conform to society when we could have something Greater? If God is on our side, nothing can touch us.
What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us? Romans 8:31
Maybe the trick is to ditch the game show and swim towards Salvation. I always did love to swim.